Word Of The Day: GRACE

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.

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My grandson, Hollis, is practicing his letters. Currently he is captivated by a sort of coloring book that focuses on the big picture of such things—the uppercase letters of the alphabet. Each plastic-coated page is dedicated to a letter, and on that page there are 4 of the same uppercase letter in a row, all outlined with dashes. The task for little hands is to trace the letter with a washable marker that can be wiped off with a wet cloth, making it possible for the owner of those little hands to practice again. And again, and again, and again.

Grace is a lot like that.

It is a chance for us to wipe the slate clean and try it again. And again, and again, and again. It is also an opportunity for us to allow others to wipe their slates clean and try again too.

If there was one word, and one word only, for me to choose as a daily traveling companion, I think it would have to be this one. Life is nothing if not a maze of grace. Some days I seem to get it all right. I show up as the kind of person I aspire to be and bring what I have to offer to the day before me. Other days I get it so wrong it feels like I will never recover. Most days are a combo plate of the two.

Grace is the washable marker that traces the dashes that outline my days.

Again, and again, and again.

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Word Of The Day: CONNECTED

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.

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According to the New Oxford English Dictionary, a connection is the action of linking one thing to another. If that is so, then it seems first and foremost that it is important to know what to attach to what. Especially when it comes to crafting a meaningful life.

When launching my business, it took me awhile to come up with a concise statement that would capture both the philosophy behind, as well as the purpose of, my work as a writer, speaker, and coach. It also needed to be the guiding philosophy behind how I endeavor to live my own life. See if what I came up with connects for you like it did for me.

Connect who you are with how you live.

Word Of The Day: RESILIENT 2.0

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


Good writing, but a little too “self congratulatory” was my husband’s response after reading RESILIENT. In it I told the story of summiting and surviving an unexpected night on Mt. Adams. Tom is one of my most trusted feedback providers, and as such I work to listen with more curiosity than defensiveness. Always a growing edge for me.

This morning over coffee in the pre-dawn light, defensiveness won the first round. As a female, I was raised to keep my strengths, intelligence, and strong opinions under wraps. His comments about the tone of my post smacked of that early upbringing. He was told from his earliest years never to toot his own horn, and the tenor of my words sounded like boasting. Our morning heart-to-heart was a convergence of our early messaging. Curiosity eventually won the match, and our conversation evolved into all of the ways resilience can manifest in our lives, including the willingness to receive and reflect on feedback when it is of the more “constructive” nature.

Divorce, death of loved ones, financial hardship, broken trust, the loss of a job, unrealized dreams, failure in front of our peers, being passed over for a promotion, fighting injustice, crafting meaningful lives, taking on our own inner demons, fostering authentic relationships, strenuous exercise, living with debilitating health conditions, or the Seattle Seahawks losing a game they fought relentlessly to win. We are all daily surrounded with opportunities to practice being resilient. Some small, some large, and some that feel insurmountable. When we practice being resilient in the face of the small, the more equipped we are for the large, which is what readies us when faced with the seemingly insurmountable.

Onward.

(And for the recored, I am pretty damn proud of summiting and surviving an unexpected night on a mountain. Just sayin’)

Photo by Suliman Sallehi on Pexels.com

Photo by Suliman Sallehi on Pexels.com

Word Of The Day: RESILIENT

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


RESILIENT

Standing on the top of Mt. Adams, the 12,283 ft. high volcano we see out our window every day, the sense of accomplishment of having made it to the top was diminished by the overwhelming sense of how small I am in the bigger scheme of things. I am a tiny blip on the radar screen of the very long arc of time. I do however like to think that I’m a resilient blip.

We had arrived at the summit late in the afternoon, several hours after we should have been making our decent to pack up our tent and gear before continuing on down to our car at the trailhead. It was quickly obvious that we wouldn’t make it, and would have to spend another night on the mountain. Not the worst thing in the world to spend another night in our tent that we had left at our basecamp the night before.

When climbing up a mountain, it’s hard to lose your way as all trails converge at the top It’s a little trickier on the way back down. It is easy to get on the wrong ridge and miss your intended trail down. We obviously hadn’t paid close enough attention to our route on the way up, and as night fell it was clear that we were lost. The only option was to find a wind break and hunker down for the night. Choosing a flat spot ringed with a low stone wall erected by former climbers, we put on every piece of clothing we had, rested our heads on our packs, and pulled the space blanket (think tin foil) over us. Imagine trying to sleep in your driveway on a cold night and you get a pretty good idea of our predicament.

It was a long night.

For 7 hours I turned from one side to the other, only able to last about 10 minutes on a side before the ache in that shoulder and hip needed a rest. As cold and miserable as it was on the one hand, it was breathtakingly wondrous on the other. A chance to watch the Milky Way rotate in the sky, the fireworks of the Perseid meteor shower, and eventually the miracle of the sun touching the top of the mountain.

At first light we were up and out to find our way down. (We didn’t find our tent and gear, but that’s a whole other miraculous story to be explored another day.) By 4pm we were back home. After 36 hours with no sleep, a shower and a strong cup of coffee to go we were on our way to my brother’s 70th birthday celebration.

It’s no small thing to summit and survive an unexpected night on a mountain, just like it is no small thing to reach seventy years of age, having survived all the unexpected things that have happened along the way. Both call upon us to be resilient. To recover from difficult conditions and challenges. To spring back into shape after being bent by life’s storms. It is those same challenges, difficulties, and storms that create resilient souls. A willingness to get up and go at it, whatever it is, again, and again, and again.

Yes, we’d summited a mountain.

No, we hadn’t gotten any sleep.

Yes, we were tired.

And no, we weren’t about to miss that party.

To be resilient is both a practice and a choice. We were able to make our way to the top of the mountain because of the endurance and strength we’d trained so hard to develop. We weathered a night of aches and shivers by focusing on the miracles unfolding in the night sky above. We made it to the party because after making it back home, the option to crash for the night couldn’t compare to the chance to celebrate the life of someone we loved.

To be resilient is to remember what has brought us thus far. It is to call upon the best in ourselves in the face of the unexpected challenges, losses, and heartaches that life can throw at us. Which it has, and does, and will.

Onward.

Photo by Suliman Sallehi on Pexels.com

Photo by Suliman Sallehi on Pexels.com


Word Of The Day: WHOLEHEARTED

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


WHOLEHEARTED

One of my core beliefs is that we are all called to live wholehearted lives. I aspire to live into that truth every day with varying degrees of success, and with sometimes slow but always steady progress. In my work, through speaking, writing and teaching, I invite others to aspire to the same.

It is a way of living that on the surface is hard to disagree with. I mean who would admit to wanting to live halfheartedly? And yet, what does it really mean to live with our whole heart? Our entire heart? All of it?

A friend recently reminded me of the truth found, but potentially overlooked, in the very title of David Whyte’s poem, Everything Is Waiting For You. The good news is that everything is waiting for us. The harder news is that everything is waiting for us. Everything. The good and the bad, the easy and the hard, the energizing and the exhausting, what we welcome and search for and what we dread and avoid. A whole heart has space for it all. (Hear David Whyte read Everything Is Waiting For You in his interview with Krista Tippett.)

In Autumn: A Season of Paradox, Parker Palmer, the educator, activist, and founder of The Center For Courage & Renewal puts it this way—“Split off from each other, neither darkness nor light is fit for human habitation. The moment we say “yes” to both of them and join their paradoxical dance, the two conspire to make us healthy and whole.” To live wholeheartedly means to encounter and engage with the truth of our lives, the whole of which can only be found by welcoming the dark as much as the light.

There are no two ways about it. Living a wholehearted life is not for the faint of heart. It is the most challenging, and the most exhilarating, work we will ever do. It’s why we are here.

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Word Of The Day: TRUSTING 2.0

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


TRUSTING

To trust is to put one’s trust in, have faith in, have every confidence in, believe in, pin one’s hope on, something or someone. It is a choice made in the here and now, without knowing what will happen in the there and then. Trusting is an act of faith.

This is what trusting looks like.

When I was twelve years old my parents, sister and I took a trip to Mexico. We spent a few days in Puerta Vallarta, but the real prize was a week in the then—and kind of still—undiscovered tiny village of Yelapa. At that time there was only one small “hotel”, a tiny village on the nearby cliffs, and the only way to get there was by boat. Prior to our trip, and trusting in the recommendation of a family member, my dad made arrangements with Andres, a well known commercial fisherman, to ferry us from the pier in Puerta Vallarta to Yelapa. We had no reason to believe that those arrangements would do anything but work out as promised.

Once in Puerta Vallarta, Dad attempted to contact Andreas to finalize the details of our trip, only to discover that Andreas had left a few days earlier on a fishing trip and wasn’t expected back anytime soon. Just because we trust something to work out is no guarantee that it will, but just because something doesn’t isn’t a reason to stop trusting. Not one to give up on a much anticipated adventure easily, the next day Dad and my sister Margie (who spoke more Spanish than the rest of us combined) headed down to the fishing pier to see if there might be someone who would be willing to transport us to Yelapa. That’s where they met El Pedio, who would be happy, he said, to transport us to Yelapa.

El Pedio was a fisherman too, but not of the fancy, commercial, well-known sort like Andreas. He fished from a small wooden vessel he built himself that looked more akin to a canoe than a commercial fishing boat, and in which we, along with our luggage, would ride on the two hour trip. (Today it takes less than 30 minutes by water taxi.)

El Pedio’s boat sat so low, we were able to dip our hands in the clear blue water, as hand on the tiller he pointed out sea creatures, and motoring close enough to a manta-ray that we could see every detail as it slowly sank deeper below the surface.

Eventually we rounded the low rocky shoreline, entered a small quiet cove, and caught our first glimpse of Yelapa. We unloaded our luggage on the beach and waved goodbye to El Pedio who had agreed to return 7 days later to pick us up for the return trip. Watching him until he disappeared from view, our only option was to trust in the word of a small, quiet fisherman.

For a week we slept in grass huts at the Hotel Lagunitas, woke up to the sound of a fire fueled by coconut shells to heat water for our showers, swam in the warm waters, made friends with the locals from the village who also provided much of the fresh seafood we ate at almost every meal, and tried to imagine all of the wildlife that called the jungle behind the village home.

Seven days later we stood on the beach, our luggage ready and waiting for the trip that would eventually take us back home. More than 50 years later I can still remember the moment when that small wooden vessel, more akin to a canoe than a commercial fishing boat rounded the rocky point. As it turned out, El Pedio, who was anything but a fancy, commercial, well-known fisherman, was a man upon whom one could pin one’s twelve year old hopes.

That’s what trusting looks like.

Photo from the Hotel Lagunitas website

Photo from the Hotel Lagunitas website


Word Of The Day: TRUSTING

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


TRUSTING

An adjective that describes one who has a belief in the honesty and sincerity of others, and in the underlying goodness of the world. Trusting is how we arrive on the planet, confident that we will be seen, loved and cared for. But somewhere along the way, through our encounters with disappointment, heartache, loss, and sometimes overt trauma, our trust can give way to wariness and fear, suspicion and cynicism. Not the way I want to live.

To be trusting is a commitment to both curiosity and caution. Curiosity leads to the discovery of new insights and information, helping us make more enlightened and knowledgable choices. Caution implies a willingness to be attentive and alert to the reality around us, leading to better decisions and more meaningful actions.

To be trusting is to look beyond the immediacy of life and put it into the context of the bigger picture. It is to remember that we have internal and external resources upon which to call to meet what life brings our way.

To be trusting is not the same as being naive, which is blind faith without thought. Rather it is a commitment to live with eyes wide open, embrace what is true, and bring the best of what we have to the life that is ours, and trusting that it will be enough.

Photo: Pexels

Photo: Pexels

Word Of The Day: ENERGIZED 2.0

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of the month. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


ENERGIZED

Being energized and being exhausted are not necessarily mutually exclusive experiences.

Sometimes the things that energize us the most are the most exhausting. At least in the short term. These are the things that take everything we have to give, and which, once given a chance to refuel, we will show up and do them again.

We are willing to exhaust ourselves doing something we passionately care about, love doing no matter how hard, or that fills us with so much joy that we can’t help but lay it all on the line.

Photo by Juliano Ferreira from Pexels

Photo by Juliano Ferreira from Pexels

Word Of The Day: ENERGIZED

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of the month. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


ENERGIZED

When I sat down to write about this word, I didn’t expect to be writing about a rabbit, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the Energizer Bunny. That cool, pink, sunglass sporting, flipflop wearing, drum beating hare is, “…According to the 2017 Madison Avenue Hall of Fame Poll, the most iconic mascot…" around. Who knew? On further thought however, it makes total sense. That smiling pink bunny just keeps going, and going, and going, no matter what. It seems to have a consistent source of energy for whatever life brings. Who wouldn’t want that?

While the bunny may run on batteries, I do not.

I need physical energy to fuel this body, the only one I have. Giving it what it needs is the least I can do to repay it all the ways in which it has loved and supported me through the last 66 years. To keep up my mojo means, at the very least, making it a priority to feed and water it well, move it often, and give it a rest for at least 7, and hopefully 8 hours a night.

I need emotional energy to live with an open heart. A heart that fuels me to love fearlessly, engage with others authentically, and encounter the truth in myself and the world around me with courage and compassion. To keep my emotional tank topped off means cultivating relationships that are life-giving, reading the work of writers that invite me over the threshold of my current emotional maturity, and a dogged determination to keep doing the inner work necessary to live into my true and best self.

I need mental energy to stay present and sharp with every passing year. If I’m to live a life of purpose and meaning to the end, the only viable choice is to continue to stretch and challenge my brain even when it tires me out. it. Especially when it tires me out, as that means I am moving into new territory just waiting to be explored. Stoking my intellectual fires comes through paying attention to what sparks my curiosity, plugging into learning communities, and finding and connecting with others who are up for the same challenge.

And.

I need spiritual energy to stay connected to my core beliefs, of which there are three. We are all created in the image of that which created us. We are all called to live authentic, wholehearted lives. We are all called to love, help, and heal the world that is within our reach. If that doesn’t require spiritual energy, I don’t know what does. Spiritual fuel comes from gathering with my faith community, steeping in spiritual wisdom wherever I find it, and daily spiritual practices that remind me that it isn’t all about me.

In order to keep going, and going, and going, means knowing, and doing, what it takes to power the life we have.


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Word Of The Day: ALIVE 2.0

ALIVE

While alive can mean simply not being dead, when it comes to crafting a meaningful life, that’s not saying much. Lungs can continue to fill and hearts can go on beating long after a soul has moved on to wherever souls move on. In the same way, we can continue existing on the planet without truly being alive.

To be alive is to be alert to the all that life brings our way. It isn’t always easy or comfortable, but then I don’t think it is meant to be. To be alive is to actively engage with the truth, no matter how painful, scary, or inconvenient. We can even feel at our most alive when we have survived a challenge we weren’t sure we could manage—like crossing the finish line of a marathon, after a last chemo treatment, holding our newborn after hours of labor, or finally confronting our hidden fears and wounds for the first time.

To be alive is to be aware. It is to be interested in the world around us, and to continue to expand and grow even as our bodies diminish. To be alive means to follow the breadcrumb trail of our curiosity over the next rise in the trail, and the next and the next and the next. To be alive is to never cease exploring, wondering, and searching.

To be alive is to be teeming with whatever it is that enlivens us to the point that we can’t contain it. It is to be filled to overflowing with the certainty that our lives matter, despite any evidence to the contrary. So certain that we can’t help but show up for our life and say yes to its invitation. Over, and over, and over, until it’s all over.

(If you are just joining me now on the trail that is 2020, and the list of words that will travel with me to inspire and inform my steps, you can check out earlier posts on this topic below.)

Word of the Day: ALIVE

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