Connector + Writer + Speaker
Every time I pack my suitcase to head out of town, I discover that the baggage tag from my last airplane flight is still attached. From now on, that irrelevant tag is staying behind at the airport, tossed into a trash can, leaving me ready for the next, perhaps as yet unknown, leg of my trip.
It’s not about where we’ve been.
It’s about where we’re going.
This morning I received phone calls from several people, each eager with anticipation, and maybe a little trepidation, about where life is calling them. New opportunities are appearing, decisions to be made are looming, and the clock is ticking. Which, to my coach’s mind, means that they are exactly where they are supposed to be. The temptation is almost always to play it safe, fearful as most of us are of failure and being found out. We lose sight of what we have to offer, and focus instead on what we perceive we lack.
Playing it safe will never bring us closer to the authentic and wholehearted lives we are meant to live. To find our way there we must step over our carefully crafted comfort zones, venture out beyond the boundaries we’ve come to count on, and with the mind of an explorer, step out into the unknown.
At the intersection of our experience, expertise, and knowledge up until now, and the unknown territory of that which we have yet to discover, we find ourselves at our growing edge.
And that my friends, is where the magic happens.
Today I had the privilege of witnessing courage under fire.
Courage means speaking the truth in the face of attack.
Courage means standing our ground when the earth is crumbling beneath our feet.
Courage means standing in the presence of fear without flinching.
Courage means facing our own demons.
Courage means holding ourselves to account.
Courage means risking losing it all in service to saving our soul.
Acts of courage abound, and when one of us is brave, the rest of us might dare to be so too.
Onward.
Upward.
Together.
There are days when nothing sounds good, and trying to decide what to do feels like an exercise in futility.
Maybe you can relate.
You start one thing, find yourself doing another, and never actually finish anything. Kind of like a dog that turns around and around and around, trying but never finding the right spot to lie down. By the time my head hits the pillow tonight, I’ll be lucky if I’ve actually completed one meaningful task.
I got up with the intention of spending some good creative hours at my desk to prepare for an upcoming speaking gig, and reaching out to some potential agents to help me spread my message to the receptive audience I know is out there. Today isn’t the day to do anything like that. Not if I want to actually accomplish anything worthwhile.
So.
Rather than take it all too seriously, I’m giving myself permission to wander aimlessly, let the dust of a couple of intense weeks settle, finish some laundry, unload the dishwasher, make a good dinner, crawl into bed, and call it good.
The sun will come up again tomorrow.
Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle is all about the pinecone. When it comes to rewarding her for a job well done, food, toys, and praise don’t even come close. It captivates her attention, narrows her focus, and her body fairly trembles with anticipation when waiting for us to release her to leap for her pinecone. She pounces on it, prances with it, and plays with it until it is nothing but a scattered pile of bits. Lucky for her, and for us, there’s plenty more where the last one came from.
Leveraging her love for the cone is one of our best tools to help her become the happiest and best her she can be. It delights, enraptures, fascinates, and bewitches her, and because of that, she is willing to do the hard work we are asking of her, and her hard work is paying off. She is developing the capacity to be patient as she resists the urge to break from her assigned place. The consistency with which she responds to our commands is growing, and her connection to us as the keepers-of-the-cone is getting stronger every day.
Come to think of it, discovering what captivates our attention, what delights, enraptures, fascinates and bewitches us sounds a lot like Gracie, and is one of our best tools for becoming our happiest and best selves.
Gracie wanted me to tell you, whatever your pinecone, find time every day to pounce on it, prance with it, and play with it . She’d tell you herself, but she’s a little busy right now.
I am convinced that we have access to an innate inner wisdom that stands at the ready to assist us.
This past week I saw this inherent sense in action in the participants in the workshop I had the privilege of leading. Focused on the opportunities that await each of us to engage in important, meaningful, and necessary conversations, when asked if they could identify such an opportunity waiting for them, an interaction where the stakes were high and the emotions probably were too, there wasn’t one shake of the head in the room. It was all nods. To a person, everyone knew of at least one conversation waiting for them, and to a person, everyone knew that they were the one to start it.
We know the conversations waiting for us, even if, and perhaps most especially if, we are reluctant to have them. Call them courageous conversations, crucial conversations, inconvenient conversations, or fill-in-the-blank conversations, we know what they are, and why they are. We just don’t want to have them. We don’t want to have to muster the courage in the midst of our vulnerability. We don’t want to start something without knowing how it will turn out. We don’t want to enter the arena knowing we might need to be stitched back together. We don’t want to give voice to something fragile and important that might go unheard. We don’t want to show up and be the only one at the party. And yet, in spite of all of that, the conversation is still waiting for us.
It continues to be my experience that the more I am willing to engage in the conversations that matter, regardless of how scary, challenging, or difficult they may be, the deeper my connections grow. To others, to my convictions, and, to myself. .
Is there a conversation waiting for you?
We all need safe spaces for courageous thinking.
Let’s create them for each other.
Sometimes an image grabs me, and I have to slam on the brakes and capture it. It was the juxtaposition of the snow covered ground and glistening branches, together with the intense light of the sun that captivated me.
Winter is coming to an end. Spring is about to begin.
The season of dormancy is over. The days of new life are about to begin.
The months of hibernation are coming to an end. The time for new life to emerge is about to begin.
Winter is coming to an end, and spring is about to begin.
What is ready to emerge in your life?
Whatever it is, the world is waiting for it.
Things reappear in our lives for a reason, and if we are paying attention we’ll recognize them because of their familiarity. Our awareness that whatever “it” is has shown up again, has a sense of déjà vu to it. A feeling that we’ve been here before, and hoped that we wouldn’t have to be here again. But here again we are.
What to do with what has once again arrived at our doorstep? Will we turn out the lights, hide behind the door, and pretend no one is at home? Or, will we crack the door open, invite it in to sit awhile, and listen to what it has to say? One choice leads us away from, and the other deeper into, the authentic and wholehearted life that is ours to live.
When the detritus of my life shows up once more, my first response usually includes some form of profanity, and then discouragement that I have to deal with whatever it is. Again.
Apparently there is more to discover, or it wouldn’t be here again.
There’s some unfinished business to attend to, or it wouldn’t be here again.
There’s an issue to be resolved, or it wouldn’t be here again.
More healing of a still open wound, more truth to be told, more forgiveness to be sought or extended, more stripping away of my ego, or more fears to face. Whether it is any or all of the above, there’s more work to do, or it wouldn’t be here again.
Swearing at it and wishing it would go away doesn’t seem like a skillful way to proceed. Looking it squarely in the eye and greeting it does.
Oh. It’s you again. Come on in and let’s talk. I’m all ears.
We all have some form of “it”, and what goes around will keep coming around until it has had its way with us. The next time it shows up, let’s look it squarely in the eye, and greet it.
Oh. It’s you again. Come on in and let’s talk. I’m all ears.
With gratitude once again for my spiritual director, Dane Anthony, who continues to gently invite me to practice welcoming that which shows up at my door.
Quote from a conversation with Scott Allender on the Typology podcast hosted by Ian Cron
MOLLY DAVIS is the founder of Trailhead Coaching & Consulting. She writes about lessons and adventures from the trail, and knows from firsthand experience that sometimes the only way to discover where you want to be, is to get lost where you don't. If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to pass it along.
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