On The Docket

What’s on your docket today?

We were sitting outside finishing breakfast the other day when my husband asked me that question.

Docket commonly refers to the calendar or schedule for pending cases in a court of law. Since I’m neither a judge nor an attorney, what he was really asking me was, “What is on your agenda for the day?”

Something about the question didn’t sit right with me.

We often tell each other the anticipated goings on of our days, share our to-do lists, and look at our calendars together. I’m good with that. There is an administrative element to sharing life with someone that helps things run more smoothly, and keeps life on track.

Knowing him as I do, his question wasn’t a way to dodge a deeper dive into matters of the heart. He’s more than willing to swim in the emotional waters that are part of any relationship. However, lately it felt like the question most often asked. It was transactional, not relational, an exchange of information rather than an expression of connection.

We talked about it the next day. His question was a wakeup call. A reminder of how easily we can slide into a pattern of simply making it through our days and checking things off of our lists. Whatever else might be on our docket, checking in on how we are doing on any given day matters a whole lot more than what we are going to get done.

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A Question Worth Answering

Today in another rich conversation with my spiritual director, the topic of things I want to make happen, work I want to step into, but haven’t, came up. Again.

After a thoughtful pause, he quietly posed a question. What has kept you from stepping into it up until now? Now that is a question worth answering.

What is something you have really wanted to do? But haven’t.

What is something you have really wanted to make happen? But haven’t?

What is something you have really wanted to bring to life? But haven’t?

What is something you have really wanted to accomplish? But haven’t?

What has kept you from stepping into it up until now?

Now that is a question worth answering.

For all of us.

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The Voice

There is a voice deep within that is ready to speak to us. It usually doesn’t try to talk over other voices, but waits in the wings until there is enough quiet space for it to speak up. When working with clients or in conversation with friends and family, it never ceases to amaze me how much internal guidance people can access when given the time, space, and a bit of prompting.

One good question can open up the flood gates. This is one of the greatest gifts we can cultivate and offer to one another. The gift of asking the nuanced question, and then being still.

It is so tempting, when silence hangs in the air, to fill in the space with a suggestion, further explanation, or sharing an example from our own life, and as well intentioned as we may be, in filling in the silence we may very well silence the inner voice of the other just when it was ready to come forth.

Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels

Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels