Rethinking Obedience

I’ve never loved the word obey, or any of its derivatives. They all imply submission to an authority figure, the exertion of control over my choices, and a loss of personal agency.

Not my jam.

Recently however, the phrase a long obedience in the same direction showed up in a text of encouragement from someone I love. There was something about that gathering of words that had the rich ring of a deep truth.

In a culture that lives on clicks and instant feedback, going the long haul for something that matters can be a tall order. My family and I are in the midst of one such long haul, and maybe you are too. That’s where the whole obedience thing kicks in.

It isn’t submitting to someone else’s authority. It is staying true to our own.

It’s not turning over the controls to someone else. It is continuing to stay our course.

And It’s not a loss of personal agency. It is the exercising of our will to achieve something worthwhile.

A long obedience in the same direction gives us the power to hold true to a vision worth waiting for and working for.

“The essential thing ‘in heaven and earth’ is that there should be a long obedience in the same direction; there thereby results, and has always resulted in the long run, something which has made life worth living.”

~Friedrich Nietzsche

Whidbey Island

Word Of The Day: TRUSTING 2.0

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.


TRUSTING

To trust is to put one’s trust in, have faith in, have every confidence in, believe in, pin one’s hope on, something or someone. It is a choice made in the here and now, without knowing what will happen in the there and then. Trusting is an act of faith.

This is what trusting looks like.

When I was twelve years old my parents, sister and I took a trip to Mexico. We spent a few days in Puerta Vallarta, but the real prize was a week in the then—and kind of still—undiscovered tiny village of Yelapa. At that time there was only one small “hotel”, a tiny village on the nearby cliffs, and the only way to get there was by boat. Prior to our trip, and trusting in the recommendation of a family member, my dad made arrangements with Andres, a well known commercial fisherman, to ferry us from the pier in Puerta Vallarta to Yelapa. We had no reason to believe that those arrangements would do anything but work out as promised.

Once in Puerta Vallarta, Dad attempted to contact Andreas to finalize the details of our trip, only to discover that Andreas had left a few days earlier on a fishing trip and wasn’t expected back anytime soon. Just because we trust something to work out is no guarantee that it will, but just because something doesn’t isn’t a reason to stop trusting. Not one to give up on a much anticipated adventure easily, the next day Dad and my sister Margie (who spoke more Spanish than the rest of us combined) headed down to the fishing pier to see if there might be someone who would be willing to transport us to Yelapa. That’s where they met El Pedio, who would be happy, he said, to transport us to Yelapa.

El Pedio was a fisherman too, but not of the fancy, commercial, well-known sort like Andreas. He fished from a small wooden vessel he built himself that looked more akin to a canoe than a commercial fishing boat, and in which we, along with our luggage, would ride on the two hour trip. (Today it takes less than 30 minutes by water taxi.)

El Pedio’s boat sat so low, we were able to dip our hands in the clear blue water, as hand on the tiller he pointed out sea creatures, and motoring close enough to a manta-ray that we could see every detail as it slowly sank deeper below the surface.

Eventually we rounded the low rocky shoreline, entered a small quiet cove, and caught our first glimpse of Yelapa. We unloaded our luggage on the beach and waved goodbye to El Pedio who had agreed to return 7 days later to pick us up for the return trip. Watching him until he disappeared from view, our only option was to trust in the word of a small, quiet fisherman.

For a week we slept in grass huts at the Hotel Lagunitas, woke up to the sound of a fire fueled by coconut shells to heat water for our showers, swam in the warm waters, made friends with the locals from the village who also provided much of the fresh seafood we ate at almost every meal, and tried to imagine all of the wildlife that called the jungle behind the village home.

Seven days later we stood on the beach, our luggage ready and waiting for the trip that would eventually take us back home. More than 50 years later I can still remember the moment when that small wooden vessel, more akin to a canoe than a commercial fishing boat rounded the rocky point. As it turned out, El Pedio, who was anything but a fancy, commercial, well-known fisherman, was a man upon whom one could pin one’s twelve year old hopes.

That’s what trusting looks like.

Photo from the Hotel Lagunitas website

Photo from the Hotel Lagunitas website


Hidden Blessings

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

The last thing on her list was a patio off the back of her home. Hers is an old house from which she is writing a new chapter, and reflecting on her past and imagining her future would happen best in an outdoor sanctuary in her own back yard. It wouldn’t have to be big. Just enough room for outdoor furniture, some pots, a place to sip morning coffee and gather with friends for a glass of wine in the evening.

But the to-do list is long, the days for sitting out on a patio are growing shorter, and building one from the ground up would call upon already stretched resources of time, energy, and the help of others. As much as she yearned for a sacred outdoor space to call her own, looking out on her back yard she quietly let go and decided to be content with what she had, while never losing sight of what might be. If that isn’t faith, I don’t know what is.

Heading out into the back yard the next morning to dig up some weeds, her shovel hit something hard. A few shovels full of dirt later she discovered an old brick. Digging further, another one. And then another, and another, and another, until an old brick patio, buried under half a foot of sod, appeared. It had been there all along. Exactly what she had imagined and even better than what she’d hoped for, had she pushed to make a new patio happen she would have missed the blessing hidden right beneath her feet.

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” – Brene Brown

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Keeping The Faith

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

~ Hebrews 11:1

Fifteen miles as the crow flies, out in front of our home, sits Mt. Adams, a 12,281 ft. high volcano in the Cascade Mountains of Washington State. It was the mountain that first drew us to this piece of land, and the day that we decided to stake our claim here, the mountain was out in all of its glory. I knew then, as I have every day since that I would never, ever take for granted this beautiful place in which live.

We built our home to maximize the view of the mountain, and almost without fail, when someone visits our home for the first time, they walk in, and if the sky is clear and the mountain in full view, their first words are something to the effect of “Wow! Look at that. Did you plan your house so that you could have that view?”

Ummm…Yes.

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But for me, it is about so much more than a spectacular view. The mountain is a daily reminder of my daily need for faith.

You see, there are days when the mountain is shrouded in clouds, and not visible at all from morning till night.

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On those days I have to remember, that even when I can’t see the mountain, the mountain is still there.

There are other days when the mountain is partly hidden behind the clouds that blow through our valley.

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On those days I have to remember, that even when I can’t see all of the mountain, the mountain is still all there.

This past summer, with fires raging to both the north and south, it was hidden for days on end behind the terrible, suffocating smoke.

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On those days I have to remember, that even when I can’t see the mountain, the mountain is still there.

Every day I am in need of faith. And at this particular time in our world, I am in need of it more than ever.

Faith in the creator, and in creation itself.

Faith in the triumph of love over fear, and good over evil.

Faith in humanity, and in myself.

Faith to keep going when I feel like giving up.

Faith to keep writing when the words don’t come easy.

Faith to show up as myself when tempted to hide behind my own wall.

Faith to speak up when it would be easier to stay silent.

Faith to keep putting my work out there when I’d rather play it safe.

While it may be true that faith can move a mountain, I’ve learned that a mountain can move me to have faith. Because even when I can’t see the mountain, I know that the mountain is still there.

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