Got a min? I need a quick shot in the arm.
There is so much to unpack in this tiny collection of eleven words that showed up as a text from a dear friend.
It was a request for actual, real human contact.
Her text didn’t lead to a long chain of back and forth messages. Nothing wrong with those sometimes, but there is no substitute for real interaction. The kind where we get to connect for reals. Where the subtle changes and inflections in our voices clarify words, color in emotions, and make room for both shared thoughts and shared silence. Something all the emojis in the world can’t do.
It was a call for help.
A shot in the arm can inject us with energy when our spirits flag, immunize us against despair and loneliness, and remind us of why it is worth it to keep on keeping on. A shot in the arm offers both protection and encouragement, one person to another, and who couldn’t use a little more of that?
It was a display of vulnerability.
When we are vulnerable we expose our soft spot. We leave ourselves unprotected and risk being hurt, which is why we sometimes try and go it alone rather than asking for help so that we can go it together. When we are vulnerable we are choosing to not hedge our bets, and are betting instead on the goodness of others to show up for us when we ask. We are choosing to go first in the hopes that If I show you mine, maybe you’ll show me yours. Someone has to go first, so that others can go next.
It was a courageous act.
Brene Brown reminds us that there is no courage without vulnerability. She says, You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. To raise our hands, to ask for help, to invite someone into our story are acts that are both deeply vulnerable and fiercely brave. Courage inspires courage. Bravery begets bravery. Every time we choose to be even the tiniest bit brave, we build our capacity to choose it again. And again, and again, and again.
It was a turning toward a person not a screen.
When life gets hard—and when is it not in some way—it can be so tempting to distract ourselves. To fun scroll, doom scroll, entertainment scroll, shop scroll, information scroll, mindless scroll, anything scroll. Anything but actually feeling what we are feeling. The more we look to our screens, the less we look to each other.
Got a min? I need a quick shot in the arm.
Indeed I did, or could, with a few moments to clear my morning decks. It wasn’t a long call. Less than 10 minutes. I listened more than talked, creating a little safe space for some vulnerable and courageous thinking. Adding a few thoughts at her invitation, we ended our call and got on with our days. It was a win-win deal. As is almost always the case, a shot in the arm for someone else turned out to be a shot in the arm for me.
Real people having real connection in the midst of the real world.
Nothing beats it.
