25 Years And Counting

August 27, 1994

August 27, 1994

Yesterday we celebrated our 25th anniversary. I never knew love could be this big, or life this good, which is not to say that it has been smooth sailing or easy going. Far from it. It has however been worth every single minute that we’ve spent learning to create the life we share. Like most things, we’ve learned as much by what we got wrong (plenty) as by what we got right (thankfully plenty here as well it seems), and in honor of each of those years, and in no particular order, here is what my geologist and I came up with…

  1. Love by listening.

  2. Assume good intent.

  3. Do your work and expect them to do the same

  4. Don’t do their work for them and don’t expect them to do yours for you.

  5. Play together.

  6. Learn to laugh at yourself and with one another.

  7. Talk about it, no matter what.

  8. Learn to speak one another’s love languages.

  9. Get a therapist.

  10. Create at least one daily ritual that connects you.

  11. Be active together.

  12. Own up to what’s yours in real time.

  13. Go on adventures.

  14. Stay curious.

  15. Be authentic.

  16. Tell the truth even when it’s hard…especially when it’s hard.

  17. Be courageous enough to be vulnerable.

  18. Make your relationship the priority and move out from there.

  19. Have the conversations that you don’t want to have.

  20. Cook together.

  21. Create lives of your own that strengthen the one you share.

  22. Set boundaries that protect your relationship.

  23. Identify and learn about each other’s enneagram numbers - really!

  24. Love generously.

  25. And because it bears repeating…do your work and expect them to do theirs.

I can’t wait to discover what we’ll learn over the next 25…

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