It's such a simple thing.

Just ask for help.

But simple is not the same as easy.

Somehow, many of us have come to the conclusion that asking for help is a sign of weakness. We should be able to figure it out for ourselves, and if we can't, we sure as hell don't want anyone to know. The thing is, the longer we wait to ask for the help, the more help we need. The more help we need, the harder it is to ask for help. The harder it is to ask for help, the less likely we are to ask. The less likely we are to ask, the more help we need. V.I.C.I.O.U.S. Cycle.

As I see it, there are three types of help.

Level 1: Preventative Care

Help before we need it.

Changing the oil in our cars every 3000 miles
Putting on a life jacket before leaving the dock
Regular medical and dental check-ups
Building relationships of trust and respect with colleagues at work. Even the ones who drive us crazy. Especially the ones who drive us crazy
Enlisting the help of experts at the front end of almost anything... parenting, investing, or becoming a pet owner
Telling our partner what we need, rather than expecting them to figure it out
Getting a therapist before a crisis hits

Level 2: Roadside Assistance

Help when the unexpected occurs.

Getting our car into the shop when we first hear that weird knocking noise
Calling for the coast guard when our boat engine dies
Making an appointment when we first find that suspicious lump
Having a conversation with a co-worker to clear the air
Enlisting someone who can coach us through whatever is going on with our children, our money, or our dog.
Staying in the conversation with our partner rather than pulling away
Scheduling a meeting with our therapist, sooner rather than later

Level 3: 911

Help in an emergency

Dialing 911 when our car is on fire
Sending a flare up when the boat has capsized
Dialing 911 when the pain hits our chest
Meeting with our HR department to stop the bleeding
Finding an expert help for our children, hire a financial advisor, or send our dog to a trainer
Investing in couples therapy or an intensive relationship retreat or both
Calling our therapist. Now.

I don't know about you, but I continue to get by with a little help from my friends...and my mechanic, my dentist, my doctor, my colleagues, my husband. Oh, and my therapist.

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